Los Padres-Centric Loop RIde 2,000 XP+ cheeseburger edition

[Taco]

What should I name a ride? Beats me, I just come up with dumb shit and throw it out there.

Arright, so there were some roads I wanted to ride in the LPNF area, and to get to them I figured it would be nice to ride Old Ridge Road again. I haven't been on that road in a couple years, and when Luis and I did it it seemed arright. My plan was to leave work in Arcadia and head up to Little Tujunga, which I've never ridden, drop into Santa Clarita area, ride up Old Ridge Road to the 138, camp somewhere for the night, then resupply in Gorman and go up through Frazier Park to ride up Mt Pinos. Descend that, go down to the northern end of the 33, take that south to Ojai, then hit the train in either Ventura or Santa Monica, as I really dislike riding in the city since I've done it so much and I'm getting a bit sick of the close calls.

I had a headache all day at work and the pills wasn't workin' none too good, so I headed home for the night and would leave in the morning. My headache was gone by midnight or so, and I got some decent sleep. Woke up and left by 0911 (obviously an inside job), and began my least favorite section of the ride. I would cut out Little Tujunga because of time constraints, so I had to ride from Pasadena to Glendale, where people typically drive like irresponsible assholes. I once had a dude in an older Jeep Grand Cherokee suh-MASH through an intersection on an incredibly red light going probably 60 in Glendale, missing me and an older Corolla by a few feet. He honked his horn as he entered the intersection. You know, I've seen this behavior before, where people will knowingly run a red light and so they honk their horn to let people know. Straight up, if you do this, choke yourself. Don't run a red light. Honking is retarded, and so are you. Fucking slow down and wait for your goddamn turn. If that clown had hit me, I would be everywhere, and he coulda run off and gotten away, like the asshole who just did a hit and run in front of my girlfriends house, damaging her car and totaling this one dude's Mustang, as well as a new Civic and a G35. This fool got away! Hopefully he receives intense karma. Who am I kidding, karma is just a concept. Anyway, before I go off on a tangent about wishing other humans harm and becoming a monk instead, let's just say please don't do stupid shit like that. Guns are scary and dangerous but running a red light in a bullet that carries way more kinetic energy than something fired from a rifle is totally fine and excusable, because "you need a car in LA".

Ok, I took a blood pressure pill and smoked a joint in my little head, I'm cool. Hit me and I will haunt you in ghost form. So, no Little Tujunga, just city riding. I rode up through city-planet modern-ape-paradise to The Old Road in Santa Clarita (that area, whatever city this whole mass is called), which goes up towards Lake Whatever and Old Ridge Road. Got some McDondals, filled my bottles, and got out of the city. ORR is a nice ride, super low traffic, uphill nearly the whole way northbound but never so steep as to be a big deal. Has some cool views, some small critters and cool plants, and so on. The Man has repaved a whole lot of the road, so it's much smoother than it used to be. A gravel kinda bike would've been ideal back in the day, but a road bike would do fine now. There are only a few dirt parts, and they're pretty short and not challenging.

One important rider note for y'all is that if I were to do this ride again, I would do it southbound. Mostly downhill that way with low traffic would mean it's quite the fun way to return to SoCal if you're riding in from up north, probably via the Sierra Cascades route and you want something different. This was my second time riding ORR, and both times I've gone northbound.

So, mostly uphill going up ORR with some short descents, not too hot, pretty chill, but a bit slow. Near the end you have a really nice descent with a pretty dope view of the high desert, which looks more like grassland out there at that corner of the Tehachapi Range. Apparently this regions is the largest remaining grassland in CA, and they're planning on building the 'community' of Centennial here. Hopefully that doesn't happen. When's that extinction level event gonna happen again? Stop being so negative, Taco! Consume! Destroy! Pave! Chew the air! Buy a car!

I had an intense headwind riding to Gorman, covering those 5 miles or so in about 40 minutes. Real stiff headwind. Got some water and two cheap prepackaged sandwiches at the little store there on the east side of the freeway. They ended up being delicious, surprise surprise. I was feeling kinda sick at this point, nauseous for some reason, so I started thinking of where I'd bivy. I rode under the freeway and turned north, and found a spot to sleep under an Oak tree near the high school. The gate for the school was closed, so I was given a pretty good chance of not being harassed by anyone while I slept. I got in bed around 2000 hours, and slept pretty quickly. At some point I was awakened by the sound of munching, and I made some noises to scare off what I assumed would either be raccoons or maybe a black bear. Turned out to be a doe, and she just stared at me for the longest time. I flashed my light at her trying to break her interest, but she just kept staring at me so I said something witty for a half asleep person to her. She wouldn't look away... criminy... she eventually walked away after probably 15 minutes. The rest of the evening was uneventful.

I got up and packed things up by around 0330, and headed up Frazier Mtn Road. I didn't feel like going up Mt Pinos and then doing the ride to the northern end of the 33, so instead I took Lockwood Valley Road. It ended up being a beautiful road, with the top section around 5,500ft or so before descending through interesting geology to the 33. If you're into geology and all that jazz, go check this region out. Really cool.

I knew I had a little climbing on the 33 before the descent to the sea, but I haven't been north of Black Wall in Sespe Gorge before, so I didn't know what was up. The climb up to Pine Mtn Summit at 5,100ft was punishing for me, as I've been a bit depressed and had some lifestyle changes recently I'm having to grapple with in my own little tiny world, so I was tearing myself apart in my head while going up this damn climb. Luckily for me, there's an awesome and long descent after. Really really cool sandstone formations, some little ranches, and awesome views all the way down to just south of Black Wall. This was my favorite part of the trip. I would not want to ride this road northbound. There's a short climb afterwards, and then the long descent to the sea began. I've wanted to ride this part for a few years now, having driven it to climb at Black Wall over the years. Really cool looking, but not as fast as I expected. Nonetheless, it was very cool, and I stopped at the tunnels to see if anyone was climbing, and to just enjoy being somewhere that takes a fair amount of effort to reach. I also got a better look at that place with all the palm trees, and took some pics of Matilija Wall from a vantage point I haven't seen before. That may be the biggest sandstone wall/cliff in the region, though I'm certainly not an expert on that topic. Has some 5.9ish route on it Choiunard did back in the day, which I believe is on Mountainproject. I may go there someday, though I doubt it at this rate.

I dropped into Ojai and went straight to Jolly Kone for a burger and a drink. I went here with Luis a year or two ago and it's a pretty good little neighborhood burger joint with ice cream type items. I got a double avocado cheeseburger, downed it, and headed out. There's a bike route that goes from Ojai to Ventura right on the coast, so I've been itching to see what it's like. Its a bit bumpy, but mostly shaded and much nicer than the road which isn't too bad itself, all things considered, so it's good. A real solid way to connect the sea to this inland region. These sorts of routes are important to us life-cyclists, acting as freeways, since we don't have to stop as often or consider vehicular traffic so much. Safer, generally faster, almost always much more pleasant than the alternatives.

Metrolink sounded like a great way back to Pasadena via Union Station and the Gold Line (or whatever they're calling it now), so I headed to the Ventura station. Got there and it turns out there are no PM trains, so I cursed a little and began the ride down to Santa Monica, another 50 miles. I got over being bummed after about half an hour and settled into the aerobars once I hit the coast. I was making decent time until I got to that little rock outcropping turnout south of Point Mugu, where there was a fruit cart dude. He loaded a cup with a ton of fruit, hot sauce, Tajin, and lime juice, I gave him a tip, and that shit rocketed me to Santa Monica. Real jet fuel. I was smashing out down the 1 making great time. I think I reached the train station around 1900 or so? I don't remember. That's where I stopped my Strava recording. Took that train to the subway, which was a third world Disneyland ride, then the train to Pasadena and home.



Here be the numbers:
236.85 miles, 14,652ft gain


I didn't reeeeallly enjoy the ride that much. I don't exactly know why. I disliked the city riding part, but I didn't have much of a choice on that anyway. Old Ridge was cool, but maybe cause the first day was pretty much just climbing, I dunno. Does it matter if I enjoyed it? Whatever, people ask me if I enjoy things and so I think about it and meh, it was whatever. Lockwood was pretty. The descent down the 33 was tight, and I checked that off my list. I got a longish ride in so I could think for a while. I was in a bad place mentally for a good chunk of it so that probably colored it bigtime. Maybe I'll just sum it up in bullet points:

-Lockwood is pretty. Go ride there. If you must drive, take a Miata, S2000, or other convertible and go slow once, and fast the other 5 times cause it would be a dope road to drive.
-Old Ridge Route would probably be a dope ride southbound. The gates were all open so if you have a stockish WRX or something, smash out down that bad boy but keep an eye out for us bike humans.
-Bring lots of water on ORR cause there are no sources. Goes without saying that during the warm months here you need to carry lots of water, but people often don't. Yeah, it's heavy, but you need it, so carry it. Simple. I had four bottles, three were a liter each, so I have 3.75 liters of water on me. Squishy bladders like the Hydroflask ones are convenient for extra storage, and barely take up space when empty and rolled up.
-Mt Pinos remains on my list. Second highest paved road in SoCal, I think? Or something. After Onyx summit.
-City riding sucks. If it wasn't so hot, I would say you should take the Metrolink to Palmdale and then go west. Maybe there's a train to Santa Clarita.

Arright folks, I'll shut up now. I'll probably upload some mediocre photos later. I love you all, don't run red lights, ride bikes with us, and all that.

[Taco]

Some pics. Frustrating using my crappy phone to do this.

[dima]

Sweet! That's a fun area. I've done all that except Lockwood Valley rd between Cuddy Valley rd and hwy 33. Don't know how to feel about the ridge route being paved, but I guess nobody asked me. Where's that missile thing?

[Taco]

Have you done Mount Penis yet? I have to mount penis if you’re down. Amirite? But seriously, would like to ride up Pinos.

That’s at the Missile Park at Point Mugu on the Pacific Coast Route.

[dima]

Oh! I guess I haven't done that chunk of the PCH either! I biked most of the way up Pinos when we did the Tour de Los Padres. And I've been all the way on top a few times in a car. It's a cool area. There's a nice trail between Pinos and Cerro Noroeste. No bikes, I think.

[Taco]

Link to Missile Park: https://goo.gl/maps/hfj8ENfWueFs3w5y5

The Missile Park is right where you go from street to the 1 (if heading south).

I think that might be wilderness area towards Noroeste. I looked at it on Google Erf and I don't believe I saw anything bikey that jumped out at me. Maybe there was a campground.

[Sean]

Thanks for the report. Those Mexican fruit cups are delicious. You should've downed one before heading out, then you would've been in a better mental place. Also, I don't run red lights, because I'd feel real bad if I hit you or Dima.

[Uncle Rico]

That stretch of trail between the Wildlife View Area just west of Pinos and Cerro Noreste is in the Chumash Wilderness. No bueno on bikes there.

[Taco]

Thanks for the report. Those Mexican fruit cups are delicious. You should've downed one before heading out, then you would've been in a better mental place. Also, I don't run red lights, because I'd feel real bad if I hit you or Dima.

Let’s run a racketeering thing where you hit us and we collect money and somehow you don’t lose any money. We will figure it out.

Rico, yeah guess I’d hafta hike that part until I get a speeder bike.

[Sean]

Let’s run a racketeering thing where you hit us and we collect money and somehow you don’t lose any money. We will figure it out.

Okay, something like this?

[Taco]

Well that sucked. Nah, maybe I'll ride one of my shitty bikes but spray paint it gold. Won't hurt as much.

[Tom Kenney]

Sounds suspiciously like The Cars That Ate Paris.

[Sean]

Sounds suspiciously like The Cars That Ate Paris.

Interesting. An Australian horror comedy with a not-so-subtle statement about the impact of machines on traditional culture. It's not really about hitting bicyclists though.

[Tom Kenney]

No, I suppose not. But the protag...er...perpetrators could be disgruntled bicyclists.