EISPIRATEN

On Saturday, Danny and I loaded our bikes up and rode up to near Fire Camp 19 for a first descent of what was to be named Sacred Gorilla Gulch. Here’s a google maps link to the upper part of the canyon: https://goo.gl/maps/ZhoLU1E8hu9gd7zv7

This was to be Danny’s first time doing a first descent, and my first time doing one via bike. Carrying 2x 200ft ropes and the required gear on a bike can be challenging, but we both have touring type bikes, so it’s just a little slow. I’m suggesting to my future self to install the rear rack and open top ‘shopping’ panniers, so that a rope or two can be draped over the top and equally stacked in either pannier, equalizing the weight. This time, I had one rope stuffed in a bikepacking 13 liter stuffsack on a PDW Bindle rack, and one coiled on my back. Danny took one when we met up to help with the weight.

We hiked up the fire camp trail to the west of the canyon, and got a cool view of Doe Flat, a place I’ve still not been to (for lack of a good enough reason, I would personally say). Imagine Browns Flat, but without the stand of trees, and a different shape. An interesting terrain feature. I’m not motivated to go stand in a field simply to have done it, so I haven’t been there yet. I know some people dig that, I’m not talking shit on y’all, I just don’t dig it so I haven’t been there OR Browns Flat, which is a little more interesting. Probably a cool place to bring a telescope and look at the night sky, if you can safely get it through all the bushwhacking, and protect it on the ride on Sunset Road.

Anyway, we dropped into the canyon a little above that linked spot. Easy bushwhacking through low bushes leads into the drainage, where there are lots of downed trees and moderate bushwhacking. Still easy travel by local canyon standards. We had a total of maybe 5 rappels, and a handful of downclimbs. The first memorable rappel is the big pale slab you see on google earth, and from the trail to the peak. It’s a 100ft rappel almost exactly, with the halfway point of one of our 200ft ropes being several feet above the ground on easy terrain. It was chill and the anchor was a series of living and dead bushes, trunks about 2-4” thick. I used up some old cordelettes I’ve retired to make the anchors, along with some small 880lb links. I plan on using regular climb spec webbing and 1760lb links from now on, since I am older and not dead. FWIW the rock on this rappel would make for fun climbing if you placed bolts for protection. The granite is dense and solid, and steep enough for some fun 5.8ish climbing in spots. A bit of work to get there, but you’d have it all to yourself.

The next rappel was also 100ft, but much more imposing. The anchor was much the same affair, but 3ft or so from the anchor the edge drops off and you are freehanging nearly the whole way down. Danny was a little scared but got down fine. I was much more scared and I had to restart the rappel several times. I gave Danny a hug and told him I love him when I got my boots on the ground. I needed that fear, and I’m glad we worked through it, though I don’t like being in that moment. It’s been a long time since I did this stuff often.

I believe there were a few more shorter raps after this, but nothing tremendous, just typical SG first descent stuff. This small canyon feeds into Graveyard Canyon, which then empties into the SG river. We washed up at the beach, then hiked the road back to our bikes, packed up while eating, and rode to GMR. Climbed up backside, took a break at the very top, put layers on, and bombed down. Danny’s first time riding all of GMR. Speeding down frontside is one of my favorite things in life. I was wearing combat boots and the bike was loaded, so I wasn’t smashing out super fast, but I still had fun.

Anywho, we had a great time. If you wanna do this Canyon for some odd reason, bring 100ft rope, 100ft pullcord, 60+ft webbing, 6+ links, and a machete, and maaaybe some loppers. It’s fun.

I have also made a major transformation in things, in that now I wear pants and high top boots, so I don’t get bloody legs and nothing gets into my shoes. Huge improvement over shorts and approach shoes or trail runners. I used my pocket knife to cut a tread pattern into my issue leather Altama combat boots from the early 2000’s, which made a big difference, since they typically suck on steep dirt, gravel, etc. Way grippier.

Cheers

Some pics! First time uploading from phone directly to this site so hopefully it works well. The pic looking up shows the freehanging rappel. Imposing from below and intimidating when you start it.

Awesome! I've missed reading these reports

Cool trip. That's the canyon Willie and I climbed to Doe Flat, because we wanted to stand in an empty field. Of course we had to bypass those huge falls.

The slabby falls could be climbed on the right side without much issue but yeah, the big one woulda been a huge pain, as it was overhanging. The ridge on the left side (when looking down canyon) looked fine. Is that how you guys went up?

Nice to see you back in action doing crazy scary stuff.

I guess I'll be the one to ask. After all it's the elephant 800lb gorilla in the room.

Did you actually see the sacred gorilla? THE Sacred Gorilla, or just a run-of-the-mill sacred gorilla?

Guerrilla perhaps?

Taco wrote: ↑The ridge on the left side (when looking down canyon) looked fine. Is that how you guys went up?

Actually it was a substantial bypass on the nice ridges to the west of the major falls section. I think Willie almost ate shit on one of the smaller ones in the beginning. Here's the video if you want to check it out.

I am excited to be back doing shit that makes me uncomfortable, and being very slightly older now I can feel some differences in risk assessment. I value the risk and danger present, and don't want to remove it from my life as I see it as necessary to maintain a healthy mental state as a living being on Earth, BUT I do think I will be wearing a lil more comfortable harness, longer pants and sleeves to protect from bushwhacking, thicker webbing and bigger links for peace of mind, and all that jazz.

The Gorilla in the name is in reference to our bike gang, DABS, Dune Ape Bike Squad. I was riding from Seattle to home a few years ago and when I reached the Oregon coast from my route inland down the Willamette Valley, I found a place called the Dune Cafe. I was low on nutrients and whatnot so I was mildly hallucinating or whatever you call it when things are just a bit off and I thought it said The Dune Ape, and immediately came up with a story in my head. The Dune Apes are a species of Gorilla type ape that inhabit the sandy coast in that area. There aren't many of em left, and they support themselves by raiding human beach happenings. They are tan and can be highly aggressive. They would've been eradicated had they not been protected by law. We carry on their values and shit. Legend has it Dima is a dune ape. They are related to the Machete Brothers.

Sean, I remember when you two would go reverse canyoneering. Cool video. Glad you guys didn't fall off a crumbly thing and die. I see where you bypassed the freehanging rappel.

Is Sasquatch a descendent of or relative to the Dune Apes? He is from the same area.....

Samsquanch is a great ape as well, but they are much more chill than the Dune Ape. Dune Apes are much, much more hostile, shorter in stature, and can run up to 55mph, or so legend has it. No man has measured the speed of a Dune Ape at full speed knuckles-down to the sand and lived to tell the tale.

Sometimes they consume tobacco products.

Taco wrote: ↑Sometimes they consume tobacco products.

That's pretty common among apes of the cryptid variety. Not sure why that is.