I once again took two weeks in the summer to go to my computer conference, and then to ride a bike in some far-off land for a week. This year Debconf was in Santa Fe, Argentina. Given that, the obvious place to go ride is in Patagonia, but it is winter there, and I don't want to deal with that. The solution was to stop in Colombia on the way back. I have never been there, they have lots of mountains and they're a bike country. Done.
I rented a mountain bike from Tingua hidden journeys. You get the bike and the bags and the helmet and tools and advice, if you need it. Juliana, Jose and Fabricio made everything very straightforward. Reach out to them if you want to explore Colombia by bike! I just showed up, and was ready to go.
I had about a week to ride, and since Colombia was new to me, most any route would be interesting. I wanted a loop in and out of Bogotá, without taking any buses. I used the bikepacking.com El Dorado route as a base, adding various touristy things and detours. Got some ideas from https://gravelcolombia.cc.
Colombia was great. Lots of mountains and dirt roads and things to see. While California was baking, I was near the equator, but without ever experiencing temps below 50F or above 70F. It rained every day, but mostly not too hard and not all day.
Day -2: to South America
I watched the first half of the World Cup final at the Panamá airport. It was full of Argentine spirit:
The game was not going well. I watched the second half on the plane to Buenos Aires, waiting to take off. My Argentine seatmate was streaming it on her phone. It was still not going well, but when we finally took off, it was still 0-0. There was no internet connectivity on the flight, but the captain did announce the Spain goal and the game ending, to a collective groan in the cabin.
Day -1: Argentina
Santa Fe has a small natural history museum, packed tightly with:
My kind of place.
These guys live under the grass next to the Debconf venue:
If you get too close, they hiss and spread their wings menacingly. If that doesn't work, they fly to the nearest tree. Here the one on the right was unhappy with me.
Argentina was cold and rainy. Periodically I would hopefully look at the weather forecast for Bogotá, and despite being at the equator-ish, the weather predicted to be the same as in Santa Fe.
Day 0: Bogotá
I took the bus from Santa Fe to Rosario, and after two flights I was in Bogotá. The city is at 8500ft! It's on an ancient lakebed, so the city itself is mostly flat, but the central area sits right at the foot of steep, high and forested mountains. It's dramatic. One of the adjacent peaks has some Catholic shrine on top with a cable car and a funicular train running up from the city.
Across a canyon is another peak with a Rio-de-Janeiro style Jesus (correction: it's actually the Lady of Guadalupe).
Unlike Argentina, catalytic converters aren't common here yet. Makes interacting with traffic unpleasant. They'll get there.
On the first day I mostly walked around, drank fancy coffee, and looked at stuff. From the little bits I've seen, Bogotá is dense, has usable public transit, is full of bikes, and is generally excellent. Some buildings had their walls covered with these cloth sheets with pockets used as planters:
Nice! The old colonial center is vibrant. The old church at the center had some sort of rave or EDM thing going on, and I couldn't go over there. That's ok, because immediately adjacent was the Colombian military cosplay store district. A small sampling:
Day 1: up!
This was a Sunday, so the Ciclovia was happening, as it does every Sunday. Bogotá already has an extensive network of separated bike paths, but every Sunday the adjacent car roads are additionally closed to cars, to use for biking and jogging and whatnot. Behold their cycle network (630km currently!):
(from https://www.movilidadbogota.gov.co/mapa ... -de-bogota)
And the weekly Ciclovia map:
(from https://www.idrd.gov.co/ciclovia_old/ma ... a-ciclovia). Holy cow. We can only dream. On this particular Sunday the half-marathon was happening, which created a compounded closure for runners only. It was also raining, but there were plenty of people out and about.
I biked around town, drank more fancy coffee, and started the climb out of the city bright and early at 11. Rode up towards Cerro de Guadalupe. It was cold and wet, but there were other people on bikes around.
Eventually a good view of the city and the adjacent Monserrat monastery opened up:
Cerro de Guadalupe is at 11000ft. Apparently the statue sits on top of a church.
I was there at prayer time, with the sermon being broadcast over loud speakers to the various people and vendors hanging around. The pastor spoke slowly, clearly, using simple words, repeated himself a lot, and said very predictable things. Thus I could actually understand his Spanish! This was nice, since for the most part people here talk a mile a minute, and absolutely refuse to slow down.
Did I mention it was rainy and cold?
I hung out for a bit, and eventually did the cold descent back to the road. I climbed up to the "km 11" junction, which is actually at km marker 9 or so. Turned left on what was supposed to be a dirt road. It's worse than where I was, but still very much paved. This rolls a bit through pretty forest and farmland. Lots of cows and horses and such. Saw some kids playing soccer on a very steep slope; maybe that's how you get good. It's nice.
Lots of cows and farms. This is close-enough to the city such that there are signed bike routes here:
I eventually connected to the main road. Turned right, crossed the Teusacá river, and turned right again, to climb up on actually-dirt roads through farms. It was still raining, and now there was a whole lot of mud and puddles, and my drive train was complaining. In the middle of cow pastures was a perfectly-trimmed golf course, with clean-looking people playing on it. No cars or signage or anything.
I went over the pass, and dropped down to La Calera, the town at the bottom. It was late-enough, and I called it a day.
The True Hipster barbershop was closed:
but the counless other not-as-hipster barbershops were open and actively working.
Day 2: down!
Just as I was going to go find a bike shop, I discovered more bike tools in the bag that I haven't found previously. Apparently I had some chain lube! The bike works ok again.
I got coffee and breakfast at a bakery on the plaza in La Calera. Cleaned up the bike, and rode out of town:
I wanted to take a detour towards the Guavio reservoir. This would involve a big drop that would need to be re-gained later. I wasn't feeling particularly strong, but it was only day 2. I figured I'd detour towards the high-point at the pass to see how I felt. If I felt like crap, I'd descend on the Bogotá side, and avoid the extra climbing.
I rode out of town, and immediately started a dirt climb. The recommended bike was some sort of full-suspension cruiser:
I did not have this unfortunately. I was heading towards the Chingaza National Park. It is managed and requires reservations and guides that I didn't have, so I turned off before the entrance. Was riding with some Colombian MTB dude for a bit; tried to talk to him, but that didn't work at all. He came up from Bogotá that day, was riding up to Chingaza, and would come back the same way. I split off before, to aim towards Guasca. Everything is green
And there are waterfalls
I went over the muddy and very unsigned pass, where it started to rain. I dropped down into town, and found a panaderia to dry out. Got my mid-day coffee and very large croissant with some sort of fruit inside (bocadillo).
The rain stopped, and I rode out of town, aiming towards the Alto de Páramo. The road rolls a bit. Passes by lots of cows and mud. Eventually you get above the last cow, and the road cuts through the un-mutilated forest.
Felt slow all day, but was settling in as I climbed. At the saddle is a muddy trail to Alto de Páramo, the local high point.
Climbed that to get some nice views.
Then it started to rain. I rushed back to the bike, switched into rain mode, and started the 5500ft descent as fast as I could. Very cold and wet. Then the rain stopped, as did my rate of progress. Because everything was so pretty and amazing, I had to stop every 5 minutes to take pictures. First you're in the páramo (the high area above the treeline), then you drop down into the forest
Then you get into pastures again
There are cliffs
And lots of boulders, used strategically by the locals to build walls.
I got down to the river, and tried to find the hotel the gravelcolombia guy recommended. I could not find it because I didn't yet know how to do this properly. It's just a closed gate with a small sign and a phone number. You're supposed to use whatsapp to send a text to that number, and they'll hopefully reply, and open the gate. At that time I was tired, and didn't even see the sign, since it faced the other direction.
I ended up at the place next door, which I though at the time maybe was the place. It didn't have a gate, and had a prominent doorbell. This was on a hot spring! That feeds into a full swimming pool. Without any chlorine, or other things you usually find in swimming pools. There are showers you're suggested to take, but they are cold (they have a hot spring; you don't even need to heat anything). The showers didn't even have a shower head, and most notably had no soap. No soap at the bathroom sink either. And to add insult to injury, this property ended before the river, and you couldn't go hang out at the banks. Sigh.
Like most other Colombians I met, these people talk a mile a minute, and I absolutely cannot understand them. The guy at the hotel asked if I wanted food (very normal, since these places are usually hotels+restaurants). I ordered something, and we agreed on 6:30. At 6:30 he came by, didn't have anything, and kept talking at me incomprehensibly. We walked around, ending up at a minimart across the street, where he had the lady working there call someplace for takeout, which arrived at 7:30. I'm still confused why he wanted to sell me food he didn't have. While we were waiting, the 3 of us tried to communicate. The cell connection was super slow, but google translate did work. And the minimart woman actually was able to slow down, to make communication possible. Meanwhile the hotel guy kept drinking beers, and was generally having a good time. Maybe I'm not properly calibrated, but none of this felt normal.
Every time I would see the hotel guy the following day he would rapidly talk at me, telling me about the Colombian mujeres and pantomiming aggressively sniffing his fingers. I was maybe being offered something, but the language barrier was too great.
Haven't felt this much of a stupid gringo in a looong time.
Day 3: up and then down
I took a half day before the big climb out to Guasca the next day. Felt fine actually, but no reason to make this into a job. Went to check out Gachetá, and biked up to Gama. Getting to Gachetá is a rollercoaster. Getting to the start of the climb up to Gama is a rollercoaster too. Then you gain 2000ft.
There's a geologist amonng the road-maintenance people:
This is still the land of bikes:
That coffee shop is medium-ok.
On the way up to Gama are signs for Laguna de Chinchorro. The signs aren't clear about where this is. Right before Gama is a dirt road that climbs up to the right, with a sign pointing that way, so I followed it. Climbed 400ft up to a junction. There's a communication tower protected by some fortifications with openings for rifle barrels
And a half-completed round shed
No indication at all about where or how far I'm going, so I turned around. Looking later, apparently I had to climb 2500ft more. The lake is above 10000ft! There was a nice view of the town
Got to Gama, poked around, drank a coffee, some sort of milkshake and ate some disappointing pastries. Like every town I've been to here, this one also has a central plaza with a church and the town name spelled out in big letters
This is a coffee-growing area, so I was on the lookout for coffee beans. There're coffee shops everywhere, but this isn't Bogotá; people dont nerd out over pour-overs. The default is cafe de leche (americano or instant with milk, depending on where you are). Didn't find any beans at all in Gama. In Gachetá, one shop had some preground coffee for sale, and they pointed me to some other place in town for beans. This was a local distributor, but sadly they were closed. I gave up, and went back to the hotel. Practically next door to the hotel found a coffee shop selling brewed coffee and beans from Junin (another town 2000ft above). Got a bag of geisha of some sort. 40000 COP (~ $12.50USD) for 500g (1.1lb). Score!
Day 4: up!
Woke up at a reasonable time, and started riding a bit before 8. The paved road started to ascend immediately. Passed multiple coffee vendors and breakfast places, but they were all very closed. After 1000ft is the town of Sueva, which the gravelcolombia guy says is the last resupply. This is correct; there're a handful of random stands here and there past it, but they clearly cannot be relied upon to be open. Most of Sueva wasn't open either. Found a small shop, and got some bad coffee and a microwaved arepa from yesterday. Right after I left, I rounded a corner, and saw a nice-looking breakfast place that looked like they have real food and real coffee. Damn.
I kept climbing. Was going into and out of a lot of fog, but there wasn't any rain yet. Saw a turnoff to the Nemusten falls, which the woman at the minimart recommended, and went left. This drops down on a muddy dirt road to a questionable-looking bridge to a hydroelectric power plant.
The place was completely deserted, and I felt ok locking up the bike to some random post. Openstreetmap had a "Sueva waterfall" labelled, with some marked trails to it. I wasn't completely sure this is where I was going, but there was some signage
Apparently the power plant sits directly in front of a big waterfall, with some of the falls' water being piped in from above.
The very muddy trail/road wasn't going there, so apparently this wasn't the waterfall:
It goes up and around, and eventually you see the destination:
It is big and nice and all the things. At the overlook are some very unimpressed-looking cows. Didn't see a soul anywhere, not at the power plant or the trail or the falls or the shack where you're supposed to pay your 1000 COP ($0.30USD)
There are other smaller falls coming down the cliffs:
I backtracked to the paved road, and kept climbing. More falls:
Entered the páramo eventually. At 9000ft it started to rain, and it was wet and cold until past the pass at 11000ft. There were lots of signs about the spectacled bear, and painted bear prints crossed the road in a few places. But it was cold and wet, the bears were probably hunkered down somewhere, and I didn't see them. Damn.
Eventually I crossed the pass
and descended into the non-rainy town of Guasca. I came from over there
I found a bakery, drank two coffees, ate two giant tamales and a pastry, and all was well. Rode over to Guatavita, past some sort of animal alley
The signs were not completely successful:
Perhaps this was a part of some study:
The study area ended, and I was suddenly in tourist-town
Found a hotel, which had a hot shower! Talked to the neighbor, who used to live in Florida, and speaks English (first English-speaker I met in Colombia). He mentioned this town has a climbing gym a 15-min walk away. I was curious, and walked over there. It was raining, and I walked down a muddy road in a forest to a shack with climbing holds on the wall. The only person there was some Spanish-speaking clearly-not-a-climber old guy. He was confused about why I was there, but eventually we figured out that they didn't have any equipment for rent, and my muddy bike shoes wouldn't work for this activity. Damn. I walked back to the place I was staying, picking up two $1 beers to drown my sorrows in.
Day 5: shameless tourism!
It rained in the morning, and then on and off all day. I rode up to Lake Guatavita, the local landmark. The road is initially paved, then it's very potholed dirt. Buses of tourists kept passing me. At the top, a cafe guy told me that no bikes are allowed, and let me lock it up at his stand. Done.
I walked over to the entrance. Immediately I was approached by some woman that works there, and informed that:
1. You must have a local guide
2. You must stay on the path
3. Where's your car? Oh, you have a bike? Well, the path is one-way; it's a 45-min walk from the exit back to the start. Can't I just come back this way? No!
4. It costs (some small amount)COP for Colombians. Clearly I'm a foreigner. Then it's (some much larger amount)COP.
All of a sudden Colombia is a land of rules!
I prearranged nothing. Got in line to get the ticket, heard some people speaking English, and attached myself to their guided group. Done! The tour was interesting. He talked about the precolumbian natives. They used this lake for offerings, by tossing their valuables (made of gold!) into the lake. This is the source of the mythical El Dorado legend, and when the Spanish eventually found the place, they were determined to drain the lake, and to pull out the gold. Over the years, there were various efforts to do this, with varying success. The biggest project was to cut a notch into the mountain on one side, so that the water would drain. This worked, and the lake level is now lower, at the bottom of where they eventually stopped digging. Today this place is protected. Which means the guide talks to you about the history for an hour. Then you walk up to an overlook to gaze at the lake from afar for 5 minutes, surrounded by crowds of tourists. And then you're done: you walk down a trail to where the tour bus is waiting for you; or if you are not a tour-bus kind of person, you walk 2 miles on a muddy road surrounded by cows back to where your bike is. I honestly wouldn't recommend this activity. Didn't even bother taking any photos; the ones on the page linked above are good.
I rode back downhill to the main road and then to Sesquilé. Got my daily afternoon coffee (quite bad here) and pastry, and continued down a very potholed dirt road towards Zipaquirá. The first few miles of this road had a ton of trucks on it for some reason, which made it unpleasant. Eventually they turned off someplace, and I was mostly by myself between the farms. In Zipaquirá the statue of Egan Bernal was nowhere to be found, but I found this mural:
I think Efraín Forero Triviño is the other guy. They're both Zipaquirá native.
I found a hotel (with hot water!) and went off to find tamales for dinner.
Day 6: back to Bogotá
Last day. Woke up, packed, and headed to the central plaza to the fancy coffee place I spotted the day before. The woman there was in the process of opening. For a really long time. Eventually I got tired of waiting, and went to the Puerta Falsa, which was open and hopping at 8am. Was hungry, so got the changua and eggs and coffee and dessert. Way too much, but whatever. The Zipaquirá central plaza is cool:
After breakfast, went over to the Zipaquirá salt cathedral. This is an old salt mine where the vast caverns were used to build an underground church. It is big and cool and full of tourists
It was sparsely attended when I was there, but on the way out I had to push my way through never-ending crowds of Colombian school-children. Go early.
On the way back, went to the coffee place. Asked for a pour-over, then had to specify exactly what brewing device they would use, and pick from a list of something like 10 coffees. Got some geisha in a chemex. The dude came over to the table and did the grinding and pouring table-side. So fancy. I wanted some beans. Walked over to the wall that had the multitude of things, and picked something that looked like it'll be good. Naturally, no prices on anything are posted. Went to check out; the 200g bag was 80000 COP ($25USD)! Was shocked to hear that, and while I was processing, some guy came over (the shop owner?) and started telling me about how great this bag was. OK. Fine. I bought it. This isn't crazy by US standards, but completely obscene by Colombian standards.
Got the bike, cleaned up at one of the city plazas, and started the ride out.
Mostly flat, partly paved. Went past some amusement park with a Taj Mahal replica. Across the street from the airspace museum, which had tons of planes on display.
Rode to the low pass across the mountains to Bogotá: the pass to Codito, with the high point only at 10000ft. The road is dirt up until it starts to climb. Near the bottom is some sort of fancy school: the "Colegio Cambridge". I got there after classes finished, and a convoy of school buses was leaving the school, and heading up the pass, one after another. Other than the school, this side of the mountains looked like the rest of rural Colombia I've been seeing: farms and cows. At the summit, there's a "Ciudad de Bogotá" sign (or something), and you arrive someplace that looks very much like a Brazilian favela: dense cheap houses built haphazardly on a steep mountainside from unfinished brick. And you get a fantastic view of Bogotá.
The colorful buildings off to the North are Cerro Norte and Santa Cecilia:
This is apparently another "favela" type of neighborhood where the buildings were painted to resemble a butterfly from below.
The narrow road descends steeply with lots and lots of switchbacks. At this point the trucks and buses and everything else clog the road completely, and they aren't moving at all. Bikes and motorcycles can weave through the mess, which I was doing with great delight. Take that, preppy school kids! Where I came from, from the bottom:
At this point I was still over 10 miles from where I was staying near the city center. But since this is Bogotá and not LA, there was a separated bike path to take me all the way there. This was rush hour, and the bike path was full of traffic, just like the car road next to it. The available infrastructure is never enough: I was wishing for passing lanes.
At some point I got lost, and went off the path. It was still marked and biked by others, I was just there with pedestrians, and it took a while to realize that I was off route. This has great pedestrian stoplights:
There are both female and male versions.
Eventually I finished the ride. The next morning I took the excellent Transmilenio bus to the airport, and flew back to LA. Was greeted with heat and surface parking lots. Need to go back and do more exploring. Yall should too.
