Transgabriel: Full East Fork by Bike

[Taco]

I've been thinking of doing this for a while now. My buddy Mr. Wisner and Chris Brennan both took their bikes down East Fork in the past, and said it wasn't a great idea, or something like that. This is no surprise if you've been further up beyond the narrows, as there's really nothing rideable, so it would make sense to bring a pack frame or something and carry the bikes from around Mine Gulch down to the bridge, where the trail seemed good enough to at least ride a fair bit of the way back. I considered doing it last year but life got in the way, I made excuses, and the bike wasn't in great shape for that journey at the time. Now that I've got the new frame built up, the equipment is almost perfect for my projects, and I'm fresh off the previous Transgabriel trip last weekend, so I casually decided to do this trip. I have a few other Transgabriel projects remaining, but none were really jumping out at me as much as this one. I don't like it when I don't attack an objective and complete a project, as it sits in my gut and I feel like I'm not 'doing my job', for lack of a better term, so it was time.

First, I'll simply paste my notes I took over the weekend here, then I'll expand upon it since this is THE trip report, and I just woke up and have plenty of time to give everything the justice it deserves.



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Mister Wisner did EF on his bike a while back and I believe Chris Brennan also did that way back when, so it got me thinkin of doin it. I have been down all the tributaries multiple times and up and down east fork on foot a lot, but I don’t think I’ve done the whole thing in one shot and certainly not ‘downhill’ from Vincent Gap before. Mister Wisner and I thought about doin it and planned but he’s had a very rough year. I figured this would be a good ‘ride’ to do via the Palmdale train. Anyway, here’s what I wrote in my notes on my phone when I bivied at Iron Fork camp last night:

East fork TR

Left the Palmdale bivy a bit after 6. I think I got outta bed at 620 or so, and with the bivy setup being so streamlined it takes very little time to put it away. Rode to Lake LA, burger joint was closed, nowhere to eat, so I got a Starbucks can of coffee and a snickers ice cream bar at the Altadena dairy. I was surprised to see one out there.

Rode south to Big Rock Creek. Got a cup of fruit from a lady and her daughter with tajin and chamoy etc. That powered me up the hill. First time riding up this road, having descended it multiple times in the past. Had to walk a few parts on the dirt section as it wasn’t worth fighting the front end etc. Went to get some water at Icy Springs but my filter was barely flowing again. Veeeeeery slowly had a small amount of cool water and moved on.

Got to Vincent Gap around noon maybe? I don’t remember. Sooner than expected. Asked the AC100 guys if they saw my buddies, then thanked them and went down into East Fork. Before this burned, the trail was very pretty and would’ve been a fun descent. The upper part still has some intact sections but much of everything is burned except sections close to water. A lot of the trail has been wiped out and is narrow loose dirt sliding off the hill, hard to follow. Another challenge with a bike. Eventually fought my way down to Mine Gulch where I met a few gentlemen and we had a conversation. It was good to see some friendly faces down there. Eventually we split off and I continued past Mine Gulch a bit. Pushing and carrying a bike without a decent trail is often hard work so I busted out my Restrap Hike a Bike harness, which you fit to yer bike and it turns the bike into a backpack. I filtered water and the filter decided it was ready to run at full flow, which was a boost to morale. I drank a bunch and dumped all the water out of the bike, since I’d be along a river for a long time. When I put the bike on I was surprised at how light it is. This made me quite happy. I then laughed thinking of how much money I spent on carbon fiber parts and rare Italian boutique modern art brake levers that weigh less than a gnats asshole. I began the carry section of the ride.

It is a light bike but it is a long bike. Next time I do a carry I’ll take the wheels off (and derailleur) and see how that feels. The tires hit everything and if there’s a branch somewhere on earth, it snags the bike and pulls me backwards or spins me around. This got frustrating after a few hours. I surprised the second rattlesnake of the trip, let him slither away, then while bypassing him a beach pulled on my bike and I wobbled and stepped into a small depression which thankfully had a baby rattlesnake coiled up in it. He didn’t move, thankfully, so I kept going.

Eventually my shoulders began to ache since there ain’t much padding, then my heart was having palpitations, so I took a break. Had some food and water, sat down lying against a rock, and felt real motivated to complete the entire thing in a night. Packed back up and kept going, only a half mile left to Iron Fork Camp, about a mile and a quarter beyond that to the Bridge, then smooth sailing, or so I told myself. As I got closer to Iron Camp my heart was doing it again and I was real frustrated with the bike banging into everything and me slipping and sliding and all that so I decided to camp at Iron Fork Camp, and here I am! I am typing this up while rehydrating after washing off. I was super filthy and disgusting but now I am just a little bit dirty and not really that bad smelling. My shoulders and neck ache but my heart is just fine. I haven’t eaten enough today but I’m nauseous right now so I’m just going to take it slow and probably sleep first. There’s a 60% illumination moon right now and it’s warm but not gross, with a nice cool breeze and a shitload of crickets. No shithead flies or skeeters bugging me. A pretty good night.

So when I planned this trip I figured the desert section would take a long time and be real hot. It was hot and I did sweat a LOT up until about Vincent Gap, but I made great time and didn’t have to rush. I just miscalculated the distance. I originally thought I’d sneak into Mine Gulch to camp around midnight but I got there far earlier. Reckoned I’d do the shitty part between mine gulch and the fish and iron forks the next day. That part is always hot and exposed. I got to complete it with the sun low and temps favorable. Tomorrow I need to hike the mile and change to the bridge, then I might be able to get out of backpack mode and ride bits here and there. The trail should be in okay shape so pushing the bike will be a welcome change. I do like my carry harness but I need to make some padded sleeves to slide over the straps and I gotta see if I can remove the wheels and lash em to the frame without making the balance too far back. I can see really liking this harness when I don’t have overnight gear on the bike, such as a day ride to the summit of Baldy or anything like that where pushing sucks. Once I started doing backpack mode my speed increased quite a lot. It just sucks if there’s brush or it’s narrow. The scrambly slab to get to iron fork camp was actually kinda fun to climb with the bike on my back despite my withered condition.

Mileage for the day is 44, reaching Iron Fork Camp at 8pm. Once again this is a poor indicator as to how much work this ride is, much like last weeks episode of Transgabriel. I think this might be harder than that trip, but thankfully it is less risky and walking in the river has been nice.

Left camp 745. Left bridge 0945. Ankles were always getting hit by rocks flipped by my other foot or whatever. Ankle protection is something to think about. Hurts quite a bit despite no real injury.

End of east fork at noon on the dot. Top of Monroe 1330, bottom at 1420.

I didn’t write much about today, just a couple timestamps. It went well. I am sore, and I have very minor bruising and redness from carrying the bike in the harness. Tomorrow is a zero day for me. I am happy. I knocked the bastard off. I think this is one of those one-and-done things where I wanna do it fully knowing it’s not really fun-fun, but it is my version of fun, where it hurts and sucks and is hard but I was brainwashed/beaten into learning to love it and obsess over it. I’m gonna write a trip report on eispiraten.com tomorrow, so now I’ll lie down and relax. Thank you everyone.

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So now, in more detail. I got off work at 1800 on Saturday, made my way to Union Station, got on the train to Palmdale without incident, didn't talk to any strippers this time nor guard their bag of cash and heels, just read and relaxed. Got off the train at 2140ish in Palmton, went south to cross the tracks and go back north to take Avenue Q east to my bivy in a big wash out of town. It was a warm night with a light breeze, very easy to bivy in, and I slept like a baby. Woke up a bit after 6 and sat around a little before cleaning up. I found my Tyvek bivy sack I misplaced earlier so now it's back in action with my bag and pad rolled up inside it so I just unfurl it when I bivy. I fold the sides in and roll it up as a single unit when I'm done and it's away very quickly. I continued east to Lake Los Angeles, taking photos of crags along the way, some of which appear to be on private property. A shame, cause they look like the stuff out by Horseman's Center in Apple Valley, which has some fun granite cracks and stuff to climb. There's a big crag along the ridge above the road that would be a great climb, insofar as I can see from said road. Maybe that's accessible. Anyway, I wanted to get breakfast in Lake LA, possibly at DJ's burgers which I rode to in 2017 or so on an earlier Transgabriel paved road ride on my touring bike. When I got to town, nothing was open. Google said DJ's was, but it looks like it's closed-closed. I turned back and went to the Altadena Dairy, which is more of a gas station with small market rather than the old drive-thru markets of yore. Got a Starbucks caramel whatever coffee can and a Snickers ice cream bar. Had those in the shade before setting off south down the main drag, which I followed through Bob's Gap, a pass in the northern edge of the San Andreas Fault that I've always found interesting and have ridden through in the past. There's a short descent to Big Rock Springs before the climb to Vincent Gap begins. A buncha families were out to hang out in the water and a lady and her daughter were selling fruit cups with Tajin and Chamoy, which I rarely pass up. She described the cup as small but it was enormous and barely fit in my feed bag on my bars, which is to say it was perfect. The contents powered me up and over Vincent Gap and beyond. I've descended this road from Vincent Gap several times on touring and gravel bikes but this was the first time climbing it. The paved section is easy if a bit slow on a mountain bike, and it turns to dirt right after the prison camp at Fenner. The dirt section is easy but a bit steep in places, so I got off and walked a couple times so i wasn't fighting a wandering front end. Yeah, you could ride it, but trying to keep it straight on steep loose stuff is frustrating, which drains your mental and emotional reserves, and it is a little more physical labor, which drains yer physical tank, and you've got a big day ahead. Save the energy, rest some muscles and use some others.

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Morning

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Fruit cup!

While in there I checked out Icy Springs, which is flowing nicely. There's a road either side of the stream, and I took the western side one up, which is littered with old clothes. I had plenty of water but I wanted to drink some that wasn't hot. My filter was barely flowing once again which was a bummer, as it's either going full flow or barely running. I had a very slow drink of not much water before continuing on. The flies came out and started to harass me, so I put my bug net on. My shorts and whole crotchal region were drenched in sweat. It was probably hot out, but I hadn't really noticed a whole lot until now. I seem to notice the crotch drenching more often on a MTB than road, I suppose because the speeds are much lower so there's less air flowing over me, cooling me down.

The dirt section is only 2 miles long and was over in short order and I found myself at Vincent Gap. There was a support crew for the AC100 so I asked about a couple of my buddies. One wasn't running and the other was already over by Wrightwood. I had missed him by quite a it, but I figured I wouldn't see him anyway since the chances were so slim. It was around noon at this point, much earlier than I figured I'd get to VG. During the panning phase I figured I'd be in the desert much longer and exposed to more heat, and that I'd probably camp at Mine Gulch at dusk or perhaps dark, but I had overestimated the time and distance in the desert. Not a bad mistake to make! I thanked the AC100 crew and began the descent into East Fork.

The trail down towards Mine Gulch starts out nicely with a lot of beautiful green sections mixed with some burn areas through the switchbacks, but when it straightens out it's mostly burned. This area was real beautiful when Dima and I last hiked through here in 2023 or so. One of those things where you don't realize what you had until it's gone. The trail is in very poor shape in a lot of places, as loose soil and leaves from above have fallen down and obscured the trail, which was already narrow, and is now covered in loose substrate making movement challenging. I pushed and carried the bike pretty much the whole way down where I'd hoped I could ride, initially figuring the descent would be almost entirely rideable down to the glider crash site. There's still greenery along the base of the canyon like MTGOATMAN stated in his recent East Fork TR, and the sides are nuked. Eventually I made it down out of the draw into the greater Mine Gulch area by Prairie Fork, and I parked the bike to walk around and take photos. A group of friendly dudes was hiking upstream and we spoke for a while. I was happy to see friendly faces and it was a nice conversation with cool dudes, a morale boost. I gave them some forum stickers and we continued on our journeys. The sun was still relatively high so I clearly wasn't going to camp here. I am not the biggest fan of the section between Mine Gulch and Fish Fork as it's a long hot slog, so initially I had figured this would be done at the beginning of day 2, but I now had the chance to get it out of the way and make day 2 more pleasant. Somewhere just past the Mine Gulch confluence I pulled over and put my bike into backpack mode using the Restrap Hike a Bike harness (https://us.restrap.com/products/hike-a-bike-harness). I could dump all my water bottles out since I'd be along the river the rest of the way down, saving a ton of weight. When I put the bike on my back I was very pleasantly surprised at how light it was. I had spent a LOT of time thinking of changes to make to the previous bike to make THE right bike for my sort of 'unique' trips and demands, and it was immediately apparent that had paid off. Very few people carry their bikes over relatively long distances, and most mountain bikes are designed to be car-based, driven to and from a place, so having it built in a way that makes such operations doable is an interesting aspect, if you will. I put a lot of work and money into getting the base weight of the bike itself as low as I reasonably could so I could end up with a bike that could carry everything I need for months at a time without breaking or any other issues while still being light enough to carry over demanding terrain in poor conditions while hungry, sore, and tired. Anyway, it worked. Carrying the bike on my back in this fashion greatly increased my speed and allowed me to continue to Fish Fork with relative ease.

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Descending from VG

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Alongside Mine Gulch Camp

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Bike ready to carry

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Yup

The harness setup is pretty good but not perfect. This bike is long, so imagine being a tall guy with a really long bike on yer back banging into things. The ideal way to carry is likely the the rear wheel pointed skywards and the front wheel removed and lashed to the bike. I'll have to try that out, or I may continue with the usual orientation of the bike but with both wheels removed and lashed to the frame, though I imagine that would force the balance too far rearward which would be very uncomfortable. I would also remove the rear derailleur and wrap it in a padded bag of some sort so that it wouldn't get bent or damaged, as it is the most fragile part of a bike. Skipping ahead a bit, the straps are also insufficient after a few miles of carrying, and I must make some padded sleeves to slide over them to increase comfort. They're quite narrow and I suspect they'd be OK for shorter distance carries on a regular bike without overnight kit strapped to it. I can make some padding with USGI foam pad cut to fit and secured with webbing and probably Gorilla tape or something. The pads could then be used to bolster my pillow in camp as well.

This section went by rather quickly and I was treated to an amazing view of the North Gully of Iron Mountain, a straight line up to the summit. Andy Lewicky skied this amazing feature and you need to read his TR: https://www.sierradescents.com/skiing/i ... where.html

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A pretty spot

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Tooooight

There are buttresses of rock going up the north side that are probably awful quality, but from here I felt maybe, just maybe I could climb them. I love the feeling of a long technical route in a very isolated place in the mountains that very few people would attempt. A quiet place away from the modernized talkative social way that climbing has become, just movement and soul and Earth. The spirit of the thing itself. Maybe I could come back and climb the north gully sometime, if not a ridge. I know Dima has tried to get me out there but I have a handful of buddies obsessed with climbing each ridge of Iron and I always turn em down! That said, they're not looking at the rockiest most technical ones...

Every so often I would check the topo map on my phone to see my progress, and I was feeling strong and making good time, so I would just push the bivy site out further. I originally wanted to set up by 1900ish so I could see a good spot in the remaining light and set up, but with my progress I figured I could sleep somewhere familiar and not need much light. Fish Fork camp was the next viable option, but I made it there with time to spare. I drank water from Fish Fork, a very special place to me, and continued south aiming for Iron Fork. I took a break partway there as I was having heart palpitations and was feeling fatigued. I hadn't eaten much today and knew I would need to slowly eat more tonight. During my break I became more motivated and thought I could probably complete the entire trip in one shot. My heart calmed down, I drank water and had some apricots, and continued south. The fatigue was wearing on me more as I approached Iron Fork, and I was becoming frustrated at banging the tires on rocks and having branches grab me and pull me back. I came across another rattlesnake and let him slither away. As I went to pass him, a branch pulled my rear wheel and I lost my balance, stepping into a small depression. Right next to my foot was a little baby red rattlesnake coiled up not 10" away. Luckily he did nothing and I got out of there. Frustrating. I recognized my frustration was largely a result of fatigue and lack of food, so I figured perhaps I'd spend the night at Iron Fork camp. Upon reaching Iron Fork, my back and neck muscles were constricted by the harness enough that my vision was a little affected, I was having palpitations again, and I looked around to see if I could bivy close to the stream. Nothing looked good so I did the scramble to Iron Fork Camp, which was actually enjoyable despite my reduced state. It was wonderful to have the bike off my back! Another warm night here just like last time with Dima in 2023 or so. I took my disgustingly sweat soaked sunshirt off and walked to the creek to wash off and filter a few bottles of water. I set up my bivy and listened to music and podcasts for a while as I slowly ate some PB and honey tortillas and hot cheetos before bed.

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Camp

The next morning I chilled in bed for a while, taking it easy, and watching some Bighorn walk around about 1,000ft up the west side of Iron perhaps around the Stanley Miller mine. Looks like there's a 'cave' up there, a dark spot I couldn't really identify as a hole or a bush. I eventually cleaned up and began my hike out. More wading through cool water just like yesterday, which was great as it quickly got rather warm out. It's only a mile and a quarter or so from Iron Fork to the bridge, but it was still a bit of effort and I needed a break close to where the trail climbs out to access the north side of the bridge. This section required me walking sideways carefully as it's exposed and the bike barely fits. Despite how sketchy this sounds, the bike is rather light and scrambling with it on my back feels fine, aside from its width. I lost the trail a bit within sight of the bridge and had to get back on trail. Upon reaching the bridge I put my bike down and had another break, relieved to be done with the backpack portion of my little adventure. I ate more hot cheetos (man they're great, the limon ones specifically), took my damn shirt off, and hung out under the big cover the bunjee guys installed. A handful of people passed and we greeted each other. I knew I was quite close to the end and seeing day hikers arrive here this early was comforting. I was able to ride quite a bit of the way back, staying a bit ahead of one group of dudes who I saw. I only had to carry the bike (without the harness) for short sections as well as the usual stream crossings, and compared to the speed of the upper section of east fork I was moving at light speed through here. I stopped at the final stream crossing to fill up three of my bottles for the hot, slow climb up backside of GMR. Once I hit the dirt road I had that mini realization that it's 'over', and that I knocked the bastard off, as they say. I didn't whoop or cry or whatever, but I felt a little thing and kept going. It felt like going light speed riding my bike on a dirt road, and I passed hikers and miners coming in. The ride up backside was uneventful and I picked up some trash along the way. Made it to the top, then descended Lower Monroe, which was fun. I had to stop on occasion to let my hands and feet recover from the trip, but still had a fun descent. Got into the city and went to Raising Canes for fried chicken. My stomach had shrunk from not eating much, so I ate slowly and didn't really eat a lot. I did however drink a LOT of sweet tea. Got home and showered and chilled. Total was about 87 miles and 7,500ft of climbing for the trip.

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Narrows

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Rosy Boa!!!! First I’ve seen in the wild!

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Bridge, switching to bike mode.

This is probably a one-and-done trip for me, as I knew I wanted to do it but that there's not really much of a logical reason to go again. I hadn't done all of East Fork in one shot before, just been in there a billion times to do all the tributaries and other stuff, so I wanted to do it in one trip. I also knew it wasn't a good place for bikes since so little of it was rideable, but I wanted to experience that as well. Plus since I don't have a car I either bring a bike or I don't do anything at all, so that clearly makes it the obvious logical way of doing things. That guides a lot of my experiences and has shown me a major divide in the way people treat wilderness and say bikes are 'inconsistent' with wilderness areas... because those people have CARS! HAH! You don't see these things until you don't have a car. I'm not anti car or anything, I still wanna make my own version of a BTCC Corolla (go nerd out on that concept), but anyway... I did it. I have some minor changes to make to equipment to make other trips much more pleasant, namely padding on the harness and removing the downtube bottle cage which wore against my lower back.

As for my next project, there aren't a whole lot more options for Transgabriel routes left, at least ones I'm motivated to do. There's a linkup of a buncha trails that go N-S, but after doing South Fork last weekend I have to modify the route to make it more enjoyable. As good as I am at carrying shit in unlikely terrain I don't really want that, I want as much to be rideable and fun as possible, yet I don't want to repeat too much of the same terrain. One idea is to do North Backbone of Baldy again but in winter, cause that seems kinda badass to carry the bike on my back in crampons and an axe, and it's super beautiful up there. I could probably do that pretty easily. It wasn't super hard in summer, and I would carry a stove instead of a ton of water in winter. I might also ride to Lytle Creek and pack the bike up and over Icehouse Saddle, but that's shorter and I'd probably bring a road bike or something since almost all of the part I'd ride is paved. Maybe the gravel bike for that, maybe not. I would also like to be able to ride all of Cucamonga Truck Trail someday, but that would require a LOT of work. Lots and lots of buckthorn. Maybe after it burns again? It's such a cool position on the south side of Cucamonga Peak, like a road in Pakistan in the Karakoram or something. Would need to bring bigass loppers and a saw and machete and do it a lot to make any progress. Probably not gonna happen without another fire.

Arright, thanks for reading. Hope you enjoyed it. Go do stuff. Don't believe the hype, and don't listen to squares, they don't know shit!

[Matthew]

Daaaaang! Well done! I want the bike strap but I don't know what routes I'd use it for, other than joining you on some mission. It would be cool to use on bear creek for the smith mountain trail to the main forks but then a backpack would be more ideal. How was the weather during the day?

[mikeywally]

https://caltopo.com/m/RM995A9

made a caltopo to better visualize your story

(it's got a little bit cut off the beggining and end)

Screenshot 2025-08-05 at 9.50.33 AM.png

[dima]

Awesome! Thanks for writing this up. Sounds like a much more civilized outing than Craig's. You didn't even get any flats! So, is it business as usual in the East fork now? Day hikers, miners and all that?

[MtGoatMan]

Brother a big HELL YES. This is why we’re part of this forum. I’m kicking myself that I never did a complete EF trip from Vincent Gap to Heaton Flat before the fire (well not as complete as yours ). Also making me feel like a chump for not spending the night at Iron Fork camp the other week.

Thanks for inspiring me to get back out there. This is a beast of a hike even WITHOUT carrying a bike. Kudos to you man you’re a total madman BEAST. I’ve never seen pics of the birth ridge of Iron from that view, I can’t believe he skied it.

Fish Fork is a very special place for me too. It’s super sad to see how bad the East Fork got hit by the fire. It’ll recover in time but it’s still tough to take in.

Thanks a lot for sharing, looking forward to seeing more of your adventures man!

[Taco]

Weather was great. Hot in the desert but I’m used to it now so no biggie. Not quite hot but very warm in the mtns. In the 60-70’s at night so you don’t need much to stay warm. I coulda brought less but I’m enjoying the extra comfort of a light jacket. Work hard, rest hard, or something… just be comfy and get extra rest.

Yeah, east fork seems back to normal but not enough trash! Hopefully there will be more trash all over the place just like the good ol days! Amirite guys? I picked up trash all along the way per usual but there’s less than before. I assume it all burned up.

Thanks for the kind words. Mtngoatman, you motivated me to get out there and finish this one.

Dima, no flats or mechanicals. I think my rear hub bearings are starting to go so I’ll probably rip em out and put new ones in this week. Building new wheels this month so it won’t matter much. Or so the plan goes.

[MtGoatMan]

I’m happy to have inspired you man, I think we all inspire and support each other’s wild obsessions with this godforsaken mountain range.

Yeah, the heat doesn’t really bother me too much either. I live part time out in the desert, so it better not.

I’m itching to get back out but I don’t wanna go this week if the smoke from distant fires is still making the air quality go down.

I read that Sierra Descents post of Iron Mountain. Taco, I think we’ve found someone who’s almost as crazy as you

Weather was great. Hot in the desert but I’m used to it now so no biggie. Not quite hot but very warm in the mtns. In the 60-70’s at night so you don’t need much to stay warm. I coulda brought less but I’m enjoying the extra comfort of a light jacket. Work hard, rest hard, or something… just be comfy and get extra rest.

Yeah, east fork seems back to normal but not enough trash! Hopefully there will be more trash all over the place just like the good ol days! Amirite guys? I picked up trash all along the way per usual but there’s less than before. I assume it all burned up.

Thanks for the kind words. Mtngoatman, you motivated me to get out there and finish this one.

Dima, no flats or mechanicals. I think my rear hub bearings are starting to go so I’ll probably rip em out and put new ones in this week. Building new wheels this month so it won’t matter much. Or so the plan goes.

[wesweswes]

Wow, that's brilliant. I didn't realize hike a bike harnesses were a thing, but in retrospect it makes a lot of sense. I might have missed it there, but roughly how heavy is it on your back? I'm guessing you went as light as possible on camping gear, stove, etc?

[Taco]

On my back I'd say maybe 35lbs. The bike without water, food, anything, just the bike itself is 28lbs, so add a little for bags and random bits and tools.

No stove, just the 40*ish bag, tyvek ground sheet, light sleeping pad, and some light layers. Barely need anythign in this weather aside from water and food/electrolytes.

[Matthew]

Tbh idk if I can do anything, even ultralight, without a stove. I want my morning coffee or tea too much to ditch it.

[Taco]

I drink cold coffee sometimes. If I'm at home and I don't need to go anywhere, I'll brew a pot of coffee, let's say 3 cups worth, and ill drink one cup hot. BUT, I'll put two ice cubes in it so I can drink it sooner cause I don't need it to be so goddamn hot that my skin sloughs off the inside of my mouth. Then, I'll turn the machine off and come back and have a cup of COLD COFFEE. Some have found this act deplorable. I, an uncultured dirtbag pig, do not understand, and simply continue my godless existence.

I also almost never drink coffee while on a bike trip or whatever. I once switched from coffee to tea for trips cause a good cup of tea requires less than a good cup of coffee. I then became lazy and stopped making either. I rarely bring a stove at all anymore anyway. Less stuff, less mass, fewer objects to do things with. I find I want less stuff and to do fewer things in the increasingly complex lifestyle I am fighting.

I also love slavery and exploiting others so I just have Dima make me a good cup of coffee when we do trips together cause he's a nerd and does a way better job than I would if I cared to try in the first place. I don't believe I have financially compensated him for this act, instead likely just being racist against his green tarp he used to carry, aka THE GREEN MONSTER. A shame I haven't seen this monster recently. Perhaps I have become the green monster? Impossible, as I am not green.

I was a barista once, and young.

[Matthew]

You have inspired me to create a coffee thread!

[dima]

The green monster had a hard life. It has suffered far more abrasion than a tarp was meant to, and now leaves a trail of fine green dust everywhere it goes. There might be a bit of green monster in all of us.

[Taco]

Statistically speaking my balls have a fair amount of Green Monster in them.