I won't quit
Dear Pirates,
Despite all the speculation in the press and elsewhere, I am firmly committed to staying on this forum, to running this forum to the end, and to beating Donald Trump.
I have had extensive conversations with Bigfoot. I am not blind to his good faith fears and worries about my mental incompetence. Believe me, I know better than anyone.
That's it. I just know better than anyone.
Hold on, someone's whispering in my ear...
Oh yeah, I know better than anyone the responsibility of ... of ... the responsibility of ...
uh ... com-- ... contep-- ... copemten...
oh, nevermind.
Despite all the speculation in the press and elsewhere, I am firmly committed to staying on this forum, to running this forum to the end, and to beating Donald Trump.
I have had extensive conversations with Bigfoot. I am not blind to his good faith fears and worries about my mental incompetence. Believe me, I know better than anyone.
That's it. I just know better than anyone.
Hold on, someone's whispering in my ear...
Oh yeah, I know better than anyone the responsibility of ... of ... the responsibility of ...
uh ... com-- ... contep-- ... copemten...
oh, nevermind.
Apologize? Hell no! If we were in high school I'd take those tamales behind the gym and beat the hell out of them. Then I'd peel off their leafy wrappings and gobble them up like a starving ...
like a starving ... uh ... you know!
like a starving ... uh ... you know!
After conferring with various woodland creatures, I have decided to quit after all. I know I said I would never quit, but I'm a foolish old man who's losing his mind, so you're a fool to believe anything I say.
With that said, I fully endorse Bigfoot's daughter, Cackala, in the upcoming election. She was the best decision I ever made as your leader, even though I decided her before I became your leader.
Now I want to address one final matter. Some people might speculate that I'm quitting because I'm mentally incompetent to be your leader. But this is not the case. I'm merely incompetent to be a candidate in the election for your next leader. I'm fully competent, however, to spend my remaining time as your current leader vacationing in the mountains.
With that said, I fully endorse Bigfoot's daughter, Cackala, in the upcoming election. She was the best decision I ever made as your leader, even though I decided her before I became your leader.
Now I want to address one final matter. Some people might speculate that I'm quitting because I'm mentally incompetent to be your leader. But this is not the case. I'm merely incompetent to be a candidate in the election for your next leader. I'm fully competent, however, to spend my remaining time as your current leader vacationing in the mountains.