Skinny kid with a funny name
Listen up, all you Pub dwellers! My name is Sean Cucamonga, and I'm running for President of the San Gabriel Mountains. Now, I know what you're thinking to yourself, because I can read your minds. You're thinking, "Who's this skinny kid with a funny name?" Well, first of all, I'm not a kid. I'm a grown-ass man with long, luxurious gray hair. It's true, though, I am skinny. And I do have a funny name. Sometimes people call me "Seen" instead of Sean, because they haven't learned that an "e" after an "s" is pronounced like an "h." You only learn that in the advanced English courses. So remember my name, bitches. It's Sean Cucamonga, and I'll be your next minority POTSGM. No need to vote for me. I'm gonna harvest the mail-in ballots like a boss and win the election no matter how demented and corrupt people think I am. The Deep Forum will protect me from the haters. Now, excuse me, I have to walk out halfway through this announcement.
