My homies invited me out 4 wheelin' and dealin' to Coyote Canyon on Friday, where we would camp out and I would ride home the next morning. Had a great time, had a campfire for the first time in who knows how long, got to meet new peeps and see old homies, violate maritime law, and have a good time. Luis dropped me off at the entrance to Coyote Canyon where pavement ends and I packed my shit up and was riding by 1000 hours. I wanted a cool patch for my frame bag so I stopped in town and got a really nice one at the Anza Borrego Desert Nature Center. Had a nice chat with the lady there, who said after living there for 35 years she doesn't think she could return to the city. I backed up this feeling and told her I think she's in the right place, as it's peaceful here. I'm usually in a minor hurry on these sorts of 'missions', since even though I'm not racing I am trying to make it to certain places before it gets dark, so I have to do my best at being a nice people person while also moving efficiently. Life is an ongoing training session where I'm trying to be the best human to others and show love and not be too curt or anything. The people you meet are a big part of bicycle travel, so even if one has an ambitious plan, one shouldn't ever ignore other people. Anywho! I headed to the Mall to see if they had little stickers for my bike, and they didn't, so I got someone a present for their birthday.
The first notable part of my ride was Montezuma Valley Road, which climbs from about 580ft ASL to 4225ft in about 12 miles before you get a fun fast low-angle descent past Ranchita to the 79. I descended this route with Dima and Kris in December 2018 on a trip in the area. I wish I could again, as it's a dope descent, and you end up in Borrego Springs, which is nice. Going up wasn't bad, as traffic was no problem, and I had lots of cool plants to look at on the way up. I saw a few Pincushion cacti, either Mammillaria dioica or M. tetrancistra, growing out of the rocks. Super cute little fuckers with pink flowers. I gently touched one and wished I could bring one home (attention feds, I didn't do it). I also saw lots of Beavertail Cactus (Opuntia basilaris), and noted how much better they always look here than in the Mojave. The Mojave ones look all tweeked-out with mange and shit. Poor things. When healthy they look quite handsome.
As I climbed higher, the variety thinned out and I passed through some areas with tons of Cholla, and saw some really cool granite formations out by Culp Valley. If I was in the spot in life to do so, I'd probably drive there and camp, bringing a rack and rope to go climb nameless cracks and features, letting them be lost to the sands of time and the stories around the campfire. Winter would be a spectacular time to do such a thing. Not too far before the top I had a weak moment, checking my hand-computer and summoning the Dark Lord of Navigation. Google Maps told me that the summit was just around the corner to my left, and so it was. It steepens a bit, and then you've got a nice downhill for quite a while. It takes little time to reach the 79, but I stopped in Ranchita at the little general store there. The guy running it was real nice, and I picked up a Lime Jarritos and some snacks which I enjoyed while an older man was wrangling his developmentally-disabled constituent, eventually giving up after they yelled about ice cream and ran off to grab one and take it to their car. A thought has entered my mind that nowadays someone might take offense to how I portrayed my observation. I don't know if I could write too often for people may be too sensitive and find me to be an evil racist bastard or something. Oh well, fuck em, tough times lie ahead for us and those without the humor will likely perish. Rejoice in the absurdity of existence on this lonely glorious ball spinning around a nondescript G-type main sequence star. Buncha morons fighting over philosophical litter while we ride by and feel the wind and rain and sun and experience the glory of sentience for this brief period. Anywho again...
I slid into my aerobars for a big chunk of the descent to 79, alternating with the drop position when stability and access to brakes became important. You're pretty low and aerodynamic in the aerobars, letting you get a few more MPH and exert a little less effort as well as take the pressure off your hands and back, but you can't reach the brakes and you're not holding on nearly as wide and securely as you would on the bars. I'm a little more conservative about when I'm in the aerobars after crashing hard (got some scars to prove it), so I drop down to the drops when I gotta be careful. The 79 came up fast, and I looked at my map, even though I was pretty sure I needed to go left/south. Lake Henshaw was in front of me, and everything was green and peaceful looking. I could see my next objective, East Grade Road climbing Palomar Mountain, in the distance. The 79 south would take me to the 76 heading NW, roughly contouring around Lake Henshaw. Right after you pass the lake and its' facilities, you make a right on East Grade Road, which climbs 11 miles from about 2600ft to 5350ft or thereabouts. I think I had it in my head that the road might be closed, or dirt, but it was open and paved and in fine shape as far as I could tell, and I slowly climbed into the trees and eventually through some pleasant meadows. Some lucky SOBs get to live up here. This looks like the kinda place upper middle class white people with overly fancy names for their bratty kids get their wedding photos taken, but without any vineyards. Eventually the road moves towards the edge of the mountain, and you get an dope view of the Pacific and all the stuff in between. Some more twists and turns and I reached the general store near the top of my next objective, S6/South Grade Road/Palomar Mtn Road. Man, I get lost with all these names out here. I stopped in the store and bought some yogurt (addicted to yogurt now wtf) and a gatorade or something, which I enjoyed while watching some kid with a ridiculous series of names disobey their parents by running around. It was adorable. I saw my first Miata of the trip, and saw many more in the area. They're pretty close to perfect up here.
So I've climbed Nate Harrison Grade and East Grade, and descended Palomar Truck Trail (truly amazing descent, not for a road bike but mtn/gravel are perfect), leaving S6 as the last primary road to climb or descend on Palomar. There are some other roads which aren't primary, I guess, so I will get them later, but for now the quest is complete! I started down passing through some guys taking pics on the road and got up to speed. The road surface is paved, but pretty rough. It could probably use repaving, I guess, but I have fat tires and it's all part of the fun, so I just gently hammered away and hovered over my saddle using my tired knees to absorb the shock. I was conservative on the descent, since I've never done it before, and found it to be real fun. I'm spoiled by the smooth pavement of GMR, which my buddies and I typically ride each Thursday night. Some El Camino or Ranchero set up for autocross or track passed me going uphill and sounded real cool. The road was about 7 miles long and dropped from 5350 or so to around 2600. With all the sealed cracks and bumps in the road, you'd probably have a lot of fun smashing down this road very fast, since there's so much more to do than a smoothly paved descent. That would be really cool. I could see how a road cyclist could get real squirrely on some of the rough bits or maybe throw it away. I do love my fat tires! Like velcro on this shit. The descent continues for another 5 miles or so into the Pauma Valley, where I got a burrito at Jilberto's. It was wonderful, the service was friendly and helpful, and I stretched my legs while looking at Reddit posts, which I probably shouldn't do. I was no longer in a hurry to beat the sun, as I really just wanted to descend Palomar in the sunlight. I set off at a casual pace to put in more miles to reach my planned bivy spot near Temecula, or continue through the night to home.
From Pauma, I rode to Pala, where I took Pala Temecula Road north, which is pleasant and mildly scenic. You climb up a bit and it poops you out at the ass end of Temecula. I rode on through Temecula as the sun set, riding through downtown and giving inattentive drivers the bad look while drunks bumbled around, dressed precisely as you'd expect. Probably a lot of drunk Marines have stories to tell about this place. Maybe a bit of regret. Good stories nonetheless, probably better than Victory Drive in Columbus. Gross. Anywho again, uninteresting riding through Temecula and Murrieta so I could reach Clinton Keith Road into the hills. I got water, snacks, and a big chicken sandwich from Carl's Jr here. I noticed a lack of homeless in the area, which I find strange from being in LA all the time. Clinton Keith Road is arright, just a two lane road with mild to moderate traffic past a fire station with radio crackling. I made a right on Avenida la Cresta and headed through this huge area with tons of ritzy ranches and big houses. I fully expected someone to call the cops on me, but my paranoia was unfounded, and nothing interesting was to happen. Passed through some pockets of very cold air and eventually changed into my wool shirt and long sleeve. I made a series of turns and got to Calle de Companero, which turns into South Main Divide road, and dirt. I took this up a bit and started looking for a place to crash. I decided a little while ago that I would probably enjoy the ride more if I slept, and I was tired from having ridden this day so far, so I could spoil myself/be a pussy and sleep tonight. You take the road up a bit and it eventually gets to a sorta flattish area with a decent turn out, and that's where I pitched my Tarptent Contrail (THANKS JIM!). Changed into my long thin wool underpants and got all nice and comfy, luxury boi style, drank some water, peed, and settled into a nice night of sleep. I got to camp around 2245 and sleep probably 1130 or so.
I just wanna blow smoke for Jim right now so I wanna say the Tarptent Contrail is quite the nice tent. I'm 6'4" and I fit in there just fine without my feet (and down bag) rubbing against the material. I have plenty of room either side of me for my stuff, and when packed down it's about 2lbs and fits under my saddlebag, out of the way, with the pole and spikes in my framebag. I rarely use tents, but this one is a real winner, and I can't see any real way to improve it affordably and without increasing the weight substantially. The two mini poles at the foot end are a smart solution, one I wouldn't have thought of, and it packs up real small with em. I will be taking this tent on my next big trip. Thanks again for the great tent, Jim.
I woke up around 6 and very slowly got up, waiting until the sun hit me so I could be nice and warm as I packed up. The tent and all my stuff packs up pretty quickly and easily, and I was off by 0700. I am still using my Tyvek tarp under the tent, as I want to prolong the life of the floor as much as I can. I use the tarp as a groundsheet when I don't use a tent or shelter anyway, so it's almost always with me. A dude in a pickup hauling a cool looking Husqvarna dirt bike passed me and we waved, and I was soon riding up South Main Divide. I turned onto Wildomar Truck Trail, which is old but good pavement, as it took me out to the eastern edge of the mountain a short distance away, and I wanna learn about as many roads here as possible. A few people passed me, everyone friendly, and I reached the top quickly. Buncha horses at some nice looking ranches, a great view of Lake Smell-some-more, and I took a breakfast break near the top of the descent. An Audi R8 V10 sped by, followed by a ton of guys in Audis. That V10 sounds awesome, makes me want to build a first gen 7 series with the V10 that came in the M5 that one time. Those sound incredible. That would be such a dope car, so goddamn expensive, tons of fab work, and I'd probably want to strangle myself about a hundred times before it was done following $24 billion invested and forty years taken off my life. But the sound! Man... I digress, I'm supposed to hate cars and love bikes and be vegan, but I was also put on this green earth to disappoint, and boy does it make me happy. The breakfast menu consisted of a single slice of Spam (surprisingly good), Ritz crackers, and water. I like these Spam slice things, definitely buying more. Salt is your friend on these trips. Finished that, stretched, and bombed down to Ortega Highway, which I crossed and headed up North Main Divide Road.
I have ridden on North Main Divide before, approached from Laguna Niguel at my buddy's house. On that wonderful day I lacked rain gear, as the forecast was mostly clear and rain wasn't supposed to happen until the next day. Well, it happened that day. I was nearly hypothermic on NMD road, with sideways rain in the dark and sometimes only about 10ft visibility while riding my Surly Disc Trucker on 32mm gravel tires. Had a few flats I couldn't patch cause of the intense rain, ran out of tubes, destroyed one fender when a stick got caught in my spokes, and got to the point where I knew if I stopped moving for any length of time (long enough to 'fix' a flat), I would become hypothermic and need someone else's help, someone that wasn't atop this ridge in a storm at midnight. I descended some awful muddy trail on the northeast side into Corona. The mud was very slick, yet also clumped to my bike and feet like peanut butter, weighing me down. My buddy Brian rescued me in Corona at 2am at a Subway and drove my soaked broken ass home.
That wouldn't happen now, as my bike has WAY better tires, is tubeless (huge help, I was hesitant to do it but holy shit!), rides much better in these places, and ain't no damn weather in the forecast. I rode up NMD wondering if the Holy Jim fire had closed anything. Of course I was a good chunk into it when I found the gate that had a map and forest orders taped to it stating it's closed until October 9, 2021. You know, I looked online for this info a while ago and couldn't find shit. Maybe I suck, maybe it wasn't online, who knows. I was pretty pissed, got over it, took pics of the orders, and ate some canned chicken with Cheez-its. A dude on a mountain bike went around the gate, but after our Death Valley issue with the feds I wasn't gonna push my luck I turned around and descended to Ortega Highway, formulating my return once it was open again and I could be a good little boy. I should probably just ride the 11 mile closed section at night. My ride would now have a lot less elevation gain, but would be significantly longer as I had to go to the coast and then up San Gabriel River Trail to home.
I got a Gorilla Sandwich at Hafey Farms Country Store. The dude running the counter, I think his name is John, sat down and we talked about all kindsa stuff for a while. Real nice guys there! The sandwich is named after a motorcyclist who just happened to be there at the same time. Muffin with egg and bacon and cheese. Good stuff. I also had a beer. Alert the press. I said my thanks and goodbyes and headed down Ortega towards the coast. I've climbed Ortega from the coast twice, but never descended. There's no shoulder for a good bit of it, I think all of that in Riverside County, which makes it uncomfortable on the ascent. Not really a big deal going down. The road descends from 2600ft or so down to 200ish in Rancho Mission Viejo. Feels like it's higher, kinda surprising. Anyway, the boring stuff starts now. I've ridden the coast eleventy billion times and I don't hate it, but I don't really look forward to it. I took some bike paths to Dana Point, and then followed the 1 north to Seal Beach. Man, the weather is nice on the coast! Much cooler than inland. Loads of people out, so I got some people watching in. Lotta douchey expensive cars, a couple cool ones, and some morons without helmets riding ebikes at 40mph through intersections at a yellow light. Like bruh, you are dicing with death, weird looking lady who totally appears to have never ridden any bike in her life and is now hurling herself through the universe and probably into the back of a Chevy van at full tilt. What makes the green grass grow? Probably people on ebikes at the beach. I forgot how much of this you see near the beach. It's madness. I don't want to control any of it at all, I want humans to go full tilt and if they die, they die. We will likely reach a balancing event on our planet and uhhhhh... you know...
I got to the San Gabriel River Trail and took it north. You know the deal. Once you cross the bridge from the southeast side to the northwest side a bit inland, I like taking the ramp down into the concrete river and ride that up. More fun, much more relaxing as you have tons of space, and you have a few water obstacles to navigate, which adds to the fun. Also there are these super cute little skinny beach birds that stand on one leg and have long beaks. I suggest this way over the bike path. Seems less exposed to the wind, and while I greatly appreciate having a bicycle specific path, I like this option more. I don't have to be so mega focused so I don't hit anyone if I zone out. I can't zone out on the path, I can down here. I'm getting tired so my writing is suffering, and my right hand hurts. Eventually the concrete river bottom turns into normal earth and you gotta get back up on the path. I continued to Santa Fe Dam, and went up to the top of that, then down into Irwindale, got Chinese food at Rice Express (very very fast), and went home.
NUMBERS
Humans do love their numbers! Our modern lives are ruled by numbers, and we are stymied by that which cannot be quantified by them, such as happiness, love, fun, sexual performance, fart quality, and so forth. With no further adieuoooooo,
Day 1 BS -> SMD RD
102mi 10,100ft gain
Day 2 SMD RD -> Home
115mi 4,300ft gain
Total
217mi 14,400ft gain
Day 2 probably would've been closer to 80mi and 6-7,000ft gain had I continued on NMD road. Guess I'll find out when it opens.
Thanks for reading my Ted talk, go do something cool and make fun of shit and write about it here so I can laugh and invite you to post apocalyptic parties in the middle of nowhere, weirdo.
Anza Borrego to LA Ride, 20210327-28
Looks like the updated version of the Contrail, similar shape with some changes like the bathtub floor, storm flap near the foot end, some other little bits.
Lettuce go ride more. Maybe we go up palomar again to do NMD Rd.
That was fun reading about you biking those roads. I've driven it probably 50 times going to Anza-Borrego for day hikes, except on the way back, I continue on 76 past Pala to I-5 north. So many great mountains there. Did you notice the big yeti in front of the Ranchita store?
Indeed I did! I contemplated taking a photo in front of it but was distracted by the scene unfolding before me, and decided to leave. It's a bigass yeti.
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